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I wish that I could get air into my lungs, but this task has became a difficulty in the past couple of days for me. Right after my surgery I was even alright with the fact that I could sleep with my nose blocked from all oxygen, but now my patience has been cut a little bit shorter. Being sick and vulnerable is more of a pain that the butterfly needle and the morning sicknesses were altogether. It really is not even the phsyical part that bothered me while being in the private clinic, it was the mental part that threw me into the ground and stepped on me five times in a row… yes, that was the challanging piecce of the cake of suffering. But now I feel a little bit better. My airways are still not clean but my mood has shifted a little yesterday, although sometimes it comes down at me chrushing me with its eintre weight telling me that no this is not an escape, you will feel bad even if you do not want to. So that is whats happening now, moodswings. Nevertheless I woke up today with greatfullness in my heart. I sat down on the couch in the living room and stared at the foam on my coffee for half a minute, and it made me realize that I used to – and maybe I still do – enjoy these simple human made things. But even if they are not human, they can appear to me as precious valuable things, even more if they were made by the Creator. And I should be greatful, for all of them really, because they are for us, they were created for our joy, and even in darker days, when the sun doesn’t seem to have even one ray of its shine, they are here to bring us a little bit closer to our peaceful selves. Having said all of these words, I encourage every one of you, and me to try and look at life a little differently if you are capable, and appreciate everthing with a little more grattitude in our hearts.